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Who's Behind It?
Well, by now you will probably have seen most of the site and most likely you'll be one of the following:
helpless with laughter, rolling around on the floor
bored sick 'cos there aren't any nudie photos (there is a photo of Gail Porter, but she's got her kit on. Sort of)
outraged, and either writing a stiff letter to the "Times", the "Scotsman" or your legal advisor
Well, if it's the middle one, tough titty (or rather, no titty). If it's the last one, double tough titty. We at RFA are beyond the reach of the Law. We publish our site from a laptop, sitting in a rowing boat in the middle of the boating pond at Beveridge Park, Kirkcaldy. So, unless you are wearing really long wellies, you're out of luck! (If, however, you're Gail Porter and that's all you're wearing, come to the side of the boating pond and wave. We'll be right there...)
However.....we know you're an inquisitive lot (politespeak for "nosy b******s"). So, we have asked our P.R. man to tell you about himself - or rather, we threatened to tell his wife what he really does on the Internet, unless he cooperated). Here is a picture of him. It isn't a recent one - it was drawn by his son when he (the son that is) was four.
If you find this image too much, try clicking on it to view something altogether more pleasant on the eye...
Key Facts about our P.R. man
Name: Alan Stewart
Age: Won't tell, but we reckon he's between 42 and 44...
Married/kids: Yes to both - wife Jeannie is over 21 & works as a computer operator with Fife Council, son Brian (21) is an avionics technician in the RAF, and daughter Karen (18) is a receptionist with Kettle Produce Ltd.
Day Job: Process worker at aforementioned Kettle Produce. Open to offers, though.
Interests: Golf (plays badly), hillwalking (occasionally), and family history research (when he can be bothered).
Sports Interests: Raith Rovers FC, Auchtermuchty Bellvue FC, Blackpool FC, and Pittsburgh Steelers
Favourite Women: Aside from his wife Jeannie, Alan admits to a sneaking admiration for Lynda Bellingham (Oxo adverts), Pauline Collins ("Shirley Valentine"), Hannah Gordon ("My Wife Next Door"), and Gwen Taylor ("Duty Free") - his personal favourite. If it were possible to have only one of them stripped, washed and brought to his tent, it would be Gwen....
Favorite Viewing: "Star Trek" (Original Series, The Next Generation, and Voyager), 11 O'Clock Show, anything with Gwen Taylor in it, and "Frasier"
Favourite Quote: "Only the good die young" - reassures him he has a long life ahead of him!
(a photo of Seattle, home of Dr. Frasier Crane, from the TV series "Frasier")
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