Here
are some spooky facts that make us here
at RFA wonder whether the
truth really is out there.....or if, as Father Jack used
to say, it's all just "Gobshite".
Auchtermuchty
has never featured in any episode of The X-Files
UFO
enthusiasts do not flock to the town - nor do the UFOs
There
are no stone circles or ley lines in the area - why not?
No
aircraft, ships or other vehicles have ever disappeared
in the area (unless they've been nicked)
There
are no sinister gothic mansions around, staffed by one-eyed
hunchbacks called Igor
People
do not disappear suddenly in the middle of the High
Street in broad daylight (unless they see ****** *****
coming - name deleted for legal reasons!)
Elvis
has not been sighted in Auchtermuchty (nor for that
matter has Salman Rushdie, though to be fair he's
not dead)
The
annual 'Muchty Festival is frequented by individuals
wearing Fair Isle pullovers, who sway and clap in time to
folk music. Scary.......
The
equally annual 'Muchty Market (a small fairground)
appears for only one week in the year...and
then completely disappears again! Just
like Brigadoon...........
There
is a Tannochbrae Tearoom in the town, but
we all know that Tannochbrae isn't a real place! It
must therefore be a front, but for what?
Remember
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers"? You didn't
see streets full of green pods did you, just loads of
ordinary people. Go to Auchtermuchty High Street. What do
you see? Pods or apparently ordinary people? We rest our
case.
What
is the purpose of the mysterious stone obelisk in the
middle of the High Street opposite the butchers? Locals
will tell you it's a War Memorial, but we've seen the
film "2001: A Space Odyssey". We know what it really
is...
All
of which points to a massive conspiracy to cover up the
truth, whatever that is. Our own intrepid investigators,
Sculder & Mully, are on the case, though, and we'll
let you know if anything comes to light. Meantime, if you're
planning to visit the town soon, and you're reading this
now, be afraid........be very
afraid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh,
and remember to pack your toothbrush. That's what your
Mum would have said, isn't it?
The
Files
