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Facts and Figures
(sort of)
Where is it?
Right. First, get your atlases out. Turn to a map of Scotland. Fife is the funny-shaped bit (looks like a dog's head, if you have a vivid imagination that is) that sticks out of the east coast between Dundee and Edinburgh. Auchtermuchty is right in the middle of it. More or less, anyway.If you're really quite sad, get a much bigger atlas and look for map reference Lat. 56° 18' 00" N Long. 03° 14' 00" W. It's around there somewhere.
Is it a big place?
No. Sorry, but big is not a word we could use to describe it. The whole town would fit in a wiggly circle about a mile or so in diameter. The population in 1801 was 2060, rising to 3684 some 50 years later. However, the local handloom weaving industry fell victim to the onward march of technological progress (lots of people got replaced by machines, basically) and by 1951 there were only 1330 souls in the place. How many live there now? We haven't a clue, but if we find out you'll be the second to know.........
How do you pronounce the name?
Unless you're Scottish, or possibly German, don't even try. The damage to your tongue, tonsils and vocal chords isn't worth it. English people do their best, but end up with a badly mangled version which sounds something like "Uktymukty". Pathetic. Over a thousand years of history and that's the best they can do?
How do I get there?
Bus, bike or car. Or walk, if you're really fit. You could try catching a train, but they ripped up the rails years ago and the old station is now part of the Rippin Construction factory. So you might be a bit late. There isn't an airport either, and as for a harbour, you wouldn't get up the 'Muchty Burn on a canoe, never mind anything bigger, even if it was in spate.
What is there to do?
At first sight, not much. It's one of those places where there is actually a lot going on, but you need to be (a) a local, or (b) very nosy to find most of it. There is, however, a thriving local Community Centre, plus a bowling green, and several pubs & hotels (we particularly recommend the Cycle Tavern on the Burnside). Also, if Auchtermuchty Bellvue FC are at home, they play in the big park at the west end of the town (follow signs for Strathmiglo).
In addition, the town hosts an annual Festival, well attended by bearded people who wear Fair Isle pullovers (and that's just the women). There is also a small "market" - localspeak for a fairground - which turns up for about a week in April. Win yourself a goldfish and see if it's still alive by the time you get it home. Mine usually croaked before I got to the Dodgems.
In a word, how would you sum up the town?
Town. That's one word. isn't it? No, seriously....it's a great wee place, so great our P.R. man even arranged to be born there! But don't take our word for it - go and see for yourself! If you can't, the next best thing is to take a look at the town's official website, www.auchtermuchty.co.uk